This City

Winnipeg, winnipeg, winnipeg how is it that you offer me endless amounts of wierdness? Are you inherently weird? Is it my foreign eyes that see you as weird when perhaps you are entirely normal to the natives? Or is it that I attract the weirdness that is only but one of your many components?

My time here has now passed the one month mark and I must say I am not convinced that this is the place for me. Which is nothing less than a sad and somewhat demoralizing thought... I have after all just moved the majority of the contents of my life, my small and seemingly equally confused dog and my very own body, soul and mind to this city with the earnest intent of staying for 4 whole years (in order to complete my program). Granted perhaps I moved with too high hopes. Hopes of friendly communities just waiting to welcome the out of towner, hopes of smaller city quaintness and a refreshing lack of pretension (which there is but what sits in it's place is not exactly appealing to me) and overall a hope that the change would invigorate and inspire me in a way that would not be possible if I continued living in Toronto. As many of you have told me before I am a woman of high expectations and perhaps high expectations are not fair to a city such as Winnipeg... perhaps Winnipeg is a place that one should have moderate or mediocre expectations of? And if this is the case than is it a place where I will be happy?

I am not sure if any of you back home have heard of the recent spade of intensely violent occurrences that have transpired here in Manitoba's capital? Well, I will spare the long list but I think it is worth mentioning that I live but 1 street away from where a man was lit on fire last week. Yes, that's right, he was doused with lighter fluid and then had a match (or maybe a succession of matches) thrown on him which naturally caught on fire, causing 2nd and 3rd degree burns along his whole body. The reasons for this particularly disturbing crime are confusing to me, according to the media it had to do with some kind of revenge as the man lit on fire tried to stop the criminals from stealing a car a week or so back. Sounds like half a story to me but who knows? I thought that I was used to a degree of 'rough around the edges', 'dangerous-esque' living having lived in Kensington market, a block away from a serious crack park and lots of other crazy shit, but I must say the violence that exists in this city gives me the creeps. There is a nastiness and a randomness to it that makes me sad about humanity.

On an entirely different and much lighter note, I have been going to a pottery class at a place called Art City that is near my house and it is a total delight. Art City has existed for like 15 yrs and all of the classes there are entirely free! It draws an amazingly mixed crowd and I have met some really awesome people there. I go on Tuesday nights between 4pm and 8pm and have been working on a ceiling mobile of eye balls, I can't tell if it's going to work out or not, but if it does it will be totally dope (in my humble opinion). It feels crazy to be able to do so much pottery for free but hey, this is one of the real bonus points of the peg... lots of funding goes to super cool shit!! So if your thinking of starting a community initiative or making a movie or getting an ngo going why not move to Winnipeg!!! Come on guys.... please.

Lastly, I am coming home for Thanksgiving. I am very happy about this. But I am also very scared considering that I am not yet feeling so hyped about this move and fear that going home will make it sooooo much harder to come back.

Is it always really hard to move or is this city just not a great fit for me? I ask myself this about a thousand times a day. Also what about the fact that I really moved for the program and the program has met all of my unrealistically high expectations... so should I just put my dislike for the city aside? Also what about those of you who love Winnipeg, could you maybe fill me in on what you love?

MZW

ps. it is freaking freezing here already.